Trying a new thing...

In this day and age, we seem to try new things all the time.

So... Im joining in. Im trying something new.
Annie has been in counseling now for 4 or 5 sessions. The first session, I mistakenly took the twins and they ran all over the church and I wasn't able to contain them. It was hard to talk to the counselor when the twins were running everywhere and I had to continuely break conversation to deal with the twins.

This whole counseling thing came about b/c Annie has to be tested for learning disabilities. She struggles in school. She does not read on a 5th grade level. She does not write on a 5th grade level. My grandma tutors Annie every day after school. So, we tried to get the testing that Annie needs done through the EAP from my employer. Didn't happen. Instead they set her up with a counselor. I wasn't opposed to the idea and so I went along with it.

The 2nd meeting Annie had, I dropped her off. When I went back to get her, the counselor wanted to talk to me. However, I had left Sammy and the twins in the van for the 2 seconds it was going to take for me to let Annie know I was there and waiting for her.

The 3rd visit, I had spoken to my parents about not being able to talk to the counselor about Annie, so they have agreed to watch the twins so Annie and I can both learn from this counseling experience. We discussed dos and don'ts of blended families. I got one basic goal out of this... JC has to discipline his own child, and I do the discipline for my children. Sounds kind of odd, but we are going to try it.
JC is very authoritarian. I am very Lazifair. This doesn't mean the kids dont have to listen to the other parent, just that the other parent isn't going to make the punishment or discipline call. This was really hard for JC at first. It went against everything he had been taught.

The 4th visit, went much better... I am to look for a book about Love and Logic... when kids leave you speechless. It promotes NO yelling. I am going to try it. I will see how we do.
Basic principle is that you simply say to your child "I love you too much to argue with you"

I am on a quest to find this book... so I can learn more and hopefully become a better parent!

The history behind us...

How it all began...

I had 3 children when I met Jason. Jason had 1 child. We dated for about 2 months before deciding to live together. I was working and in school at the same time. Jason worked a full time job. My oldest child and his child both spent most of their time away from here. We had been dating for 8mo when Jason proposed. About 2 weeks later, I found out I was pregnant. Not only did I find out I was pregnant...but found out it was twins.
So, now we have Yours, Mine and Twins.
We were married in June 2006 and we are still learning how to come together as a family.

My plan for today is to go get pictures taken of the twins. Since we happen to have Jonah here, I decided I would plan a family picture just for the fun of it. My best friend is going with me and she is bringing her 2 little girls and we are going to get a picture with all of them. Should be lots of fun and I am glad she is there to share in the chaos with me.

My day started at 2am today. Last night, Cadie would not sleep in her crib. I was tired and just wanted her to go to sleep, so I put her in the middle between Jason and I. Jonah was also awake and coughing, so I got back up and gave him medicine before returning to sleep. I slept from 10p something til 2am. At 2am, I folded the clothes from the dryer, placed clothes from washer in dryer, put more clothes in washer and started them both going. I came downstairs to make me a glass of tea. My throat has been hurting for the past 3 or 4 days. Im sure I have the virus that has taken over this house. My computer is my lifeline. I use it a lot. Maybe more than I should... but it helps me keep my sanity. So, as I sit reading my email, I hear Jason's alarm go off. Then I hear it again... and again. Finally, he stumbles downstairs. He is not a dayshift person at all. An argument immediately ensues. Im on the computer and his coffee mug isn't washed. I had about 6 dishes that never got washed last night bc as I was washing dishes, him and his mom took the twins upstairs to bathe them. Jason doesn't bathe the twins. He has a bad knee and it is hard for him to bend his knee to give the girls a bath. So, I stop doing dishes, head upstairs and Jason and his mom are getting them started in the bath. I pick up the 2 or 3 piles of clothes on the floor (Sammy and Jonah apparently can't put their clothes in the dirty clothes hamper)... I expect to pick up the twins stuff. Though, maybe I should work on training them now...

I get the girls bathed. I take them to our room to lotion them and dress them. Once dressed they decide they need one last trip downstairs. I quickly divert them to their room. We have placed a rocking chair in their room for those late nights when a baby cries and you need to rock them. The girls wanted rocked. So, we did that. Big sister Annie got them pacifiers. We were set. I rocked them until I thought they would lay down. Not Cadie. Oh NO! She was not going down. She screamed, we rocked more, Courtney screamed... wasn't fair to rock Cadie and not her. I ended up putting them both in my bed and trying to lay down. Jonah was up coughing. I had to give him medicine, while doing this "the boss" shows up.. Annie. With her words of wisdom! I quickly sent her back to bed, and Jonah back to bed once medicine was taken. By this time the twins are running down the hall. I had had enough! I tried one last attempt at the girls going to sleep in my bed without luck. Courtney went back to her bed, Cadie stayed in ours. At 2am, I tried to move her then. No luck. I gave up. She had the bed.

See how you can forget all about dishes? So, back to 4am this morning... Jason procedes to tell me I spend too much time on the computer and how bills don't get paid, clutter piles up, and then I have a housekeeper come and clean up after me. He complains bc he has to pay for everything. Which, I am working very little right now bc he is working 6 days a week. I listened to how he has a cold bc I didn't have his laundry done and he had to wear a sleeveless t-shirt with a denium shirt over it. Nevermind the day he got up and flew to Chicago to eat lunch with his sister after only having 2 or 3 hrs of sleep (he worked the night before) and didn't get back in time before he had to go directly to work from the airport. No, going without sleep won't weaken an immune system.
I love having arguments at 4am.
To seal the deal, when he left... he slammed the door so hard the entire house shook. Im thankful the kids sleep hard enough it didn't wake them. I am sure that was his ultimate goal. Now it is 7am, I have 2 kids on the bus going to school, one kid in bed sleeping and the twins still sleeping. I think I will nap this morning before the day really starts!
Something Jason completely hates that I do. No sleeping, No computer, NO playtime til all work is done.
My theory... heck with it... it will be there tomorrow..

something new...

So, orginally, this was going to be where I got to talk about work stuff. Well, Im not going to do that. There are too many laws out there and though I changed names and protected identies every way possible.. I still lived with a horrible fear of someone figuring out the method to my madness and know who I was talking about.

So, I have erased the posts I did before... about work stuff.
I am now just going to focus on my blended family.

As I have experienced, a blended family is very hard and I have searched and searched for answers and haven't found enough. So, now I am writing my own answers... or questions or something inbetween...